Interpretation

Libby Lawrence  11/16/2020

Here is the question that I have been wanting to ask some of my Christian friends.  You know who you are:  You’re Catholic, you’re educated, open-minded, and you tell me with absolute certainty that “MEN wrote the Bible”.  You’re Protestant, but you tell me that Hell isn’t real, that you know Evolution is a fact, that there never was an actual Adam & Eve, that the Flood is a myth, etc. 

So, how do you know what is myth and what is not?  How do you point to the verses telling a Master how to treat his slaves, (Exodus 21:20-21 OT, Ephesians 6:5-8 NT) or the rule that Women aren’t allowed to speak in church (1 Corinthians 14:34–35), or the many anti-divorce verses (Matthew 5:32), and say those don’t apply?  Isn’t this admitting that parts of the Bible are actually immoral, they are simply the views of a patriarchal, tribal society that existed 2500 years ago, and those views are no longer relevant?  Who decides what is “scripture” and what is not?

Most Christians that I know cherry-pick the verses that they like, and ignore most of the book.  Why, then, revere this book as “scripture”?  If you can throw out large chunks of it, why not throw out all of it?  Or just re-write it, like Thomas Jefferson, so it only includes the parts about Jesus and a few inspirational generally-loved passages.  And when you re-write it, aren’t you creating your own personal – religion – ?

How do you trust an interpretation when you hear it? 

I heard one yesterday.  (I’m an atheist church organist.  Don’t be surprised, there are LOTS of us.)   Proverbs 31: 10-31 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”  – 21 verses about how hard a virtuous woman works and how her work reflects upon her husband.  The chapter actually starts with “The words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.” – but readings almost never start there, they start at verse 10.  Verse 23 says “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.”  Of course, the Preacher didn’t get that far, he only read verses 10-13 yesterday.  But I memorized a LOT of Bible verses as a child, I know how the passage goes.

  • 10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
  • 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
  • 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
  • 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

So, this guy made this long rambling case that the Bible isn’t talking about a human woman at all.  The wife that is being described here is the Church, the Bride of Jesus.  (Completely ignoring the beginning of the chapter and that pesky verse about how her work is going to elevate her husband, how her husband (Jesus?) is respected at the city gate and takes his seat among the Elders.  Apparently, connecting that “seat” to taking a place at the right hand of God in Heaven was a bit of a stretch.)  Another factoid to contemplate is that the book of Proverbs is one of the oldest books of the Bible (other than the Pentateuch/Torah) – claimed to be the words of King Solomon, written down during the reign of Hezekiah. That was 700 years before Jesus.  The concept of a Messiah at that time was simply “anointed one”. This passage could not possibly have been about Yeshua Bar Yosef – or any Savior, or any Messiah – in any way.

Libby calls bullshit.  The passage says exactly what it says.  It’s about choosing a good wife.

Another one of the readings was the Parable of the Talents.  Matthew 25:14-30.  Yeah, Preacher skipped THAT one completely – of course.  So he took a passage where a mother is telling her son what kind of wife to choose and makes it all about how this was describing about how church members are to behave, and how Jesus chose US and loves US, because we are his wife.  He even made comments about how communion is our holy intimacy. And whenever anyone brags about being chosen, I always wonder about all the ones who are NOT chosen.

Nobody can tell me that load of ridiculousness was divine inspiration.  He didn’t want to talk about what makes a good wife, and he didn’t want to talk about servants being punished because they didn’t make enough money for their Master, so he came up with a load of something that he thought would be FEEL GOOD for the sheeple in the pews. To sum it up, he LIED.

Why do you accept such obvious bullshit?  Just because it comes from a “leader” standing at a pulpit? Because you’ve been taught that this is the main way God communicates with you, through his con men?

I’m noping right out of here.  Libby calls bullshit.

Published by libbylawrence

Fundamentalist turned Atheist in the US Bible Belt. Sharing fun memes and musings with anyone who is interested.

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